he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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