yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
