i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
