I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
