You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I haven't been this sober since birth.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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