just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
