Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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