just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
