And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
nutella sex= disaster
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
