All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
