The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
