batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
