I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Small penises have feelings too.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
