I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Randomize
