Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
