I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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