It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
