it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize