Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
