Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
