so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
