Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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