You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
