That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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