Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My pussy is not your playground.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
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