I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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