i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
