My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
