I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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