she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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