he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
