I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
