Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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