I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
