i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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