Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
