His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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