Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
