The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
