You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
