We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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