One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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