Have you finally orgasmed yet?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
