I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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