I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
