to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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