You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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