My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
