i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
the liver wants what the liver wants
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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