erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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